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Resources
"Gifts of Grief"
A film reviewed and discussed by NALAG Canterbury Branch and written by Herman Meijburg from the Centre for Loss and Healing.
You may have read in our Canterbury Branch update that we are screening some movies/dvds/videos related to the theme of loss and grief. One of the dvds/videos we recently screened is "Gifts of Grief". It is an independant educational, 52 minutes long, documentary made by the producer/director Nancee Sobonya in 2005. Nancee Sobonya has been a counsellor and an educator in the field of death, dying and bereavement for 20 years. The contents she presents us with does not fail to impress and this is something of which we feel we need to pass it on to you. It is really a beautiful and a very moving film, which we can highly recommend (see below for details how to order Gifts of Grief).
The dvd focuses on working our way through grief. Not only how we manage to cope with our loss as we go through the grieving process, but the film offers hope regarding the gifts that come with grief as well. This film invites us to share the concept that there is a side to suffering that can actually turn our lives around. Yes, admittently we may go 'through hell', yet the message in this film demonstrates that we may live through and beyond our grief and come out a more loving and caring person. Going through the grieving process is not only about learning how to cope with the loss but, at the end, it is also about allowing oneself to heal, to become a whole person again.
Above all the dvd acknowledges the devastation a loss (bereavement) causes and the state of shock one finds him/herself in first. Those interviewed speak openly and in a moving way about the bereavements they have experienced and sustained. They were overwhelmed by shock and disbelief of what happened to their loved ones and consequently to themselves. They tell how they suffered on hearing about the death of a family member, on being confronted with the death of close friends during the 9/11 attack, on how war and terrible illnesses affected the lives of commarades and loved ones. They speak of the ongoing and shattering effects on their personal lives and their search to make meaning out of these events.
However the story does not end there and the same people reveal another level of experience and awareness, taking us to explore another dimension of grief. For each of the people interviewed the losses they sustained became life changing experiences. They discovered another side of suffering: how grief can transform lives, coming to terms with their vulnerability, create a new depth of understanding of what their life is all about. By opening up to our pain we discover what lessons may be learned. Grief comes with gifts for those who seek consolation. It inspires and it encourages people. These gifts helped them to discern what is essential and what really matters as love takes upon itself a new dimension. Those interviewed speak of how these gifts of grief come to light, manifest and transformed their lives. How their losses became a source of inspiration and a driving force to do things differently.
Who would want to see this dvd? Professional people, like counsellors, therapists, nurses, social workers? Yes, for sure. How about 'non professional' people? Who are they? Mothers, fathers, brother or sister? Grandfather and grandmother? Yes. Would they want to see the dvd after when there is a need to, like the loss of a child, of one's mother or a friend? Yes. Should people see the dvd if they haven't experienced a serious loss? Yes. Who else? The content of the dvd is for everybody to see, to take in and to discuss!
For those interested in ordering a copy of the dvd contact Karen Jefferson here in New Zealand. The address is Bereavement Support Services, cellphone: 021 1684 185 or email Karen: bereavementsupport@xtra.co.nz She is the sole distributor of the dvd in New Zealand & Australia and she will tell you about the costs and the costs of packging.
For those interested in reading more about Nancee Sobonya and what inpired her to make this movie, go to http://www.artheals.org/news_2005/oct05.html.
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