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Resources
Skylight's Wellington based Resource Centre has now integrated NALAG resources into it. There is a small charge for loans, so we can keep building up the quality, hard to find resources and to cover administration. (Presently, $5.00 NZD per book for 2-3 week loan, plus p&p) Call 0800 299 100 and speak to Tricia or Lesley if you would like information about resources you are wanting to loan or purchase. Or visit at 2nd Floor, National Bank Building, 143-145 Riddiford Street, Newtown. Or email Tricia.
Please note Skylight's online resource centre and web page can be found at www.skylight.org.nz
DVD - GIFTS OF GRIEF
NEW BOOKS AVAILABLE FOR LOAN FROM SKYLIGHT
Losing a Parent to Death in the Early Years: Guidelines for the Treatment of Traumatic Bereavement in Infancy and Early
Childhood
by Lieberman, Compton, Van Horn & Ippen
This book tackles bereavement in early life - a topic often glossed over by many who write or speak about childhood grief. The writers provide honest, empathetic and effective suggestions for supporting infants and under 5s after a bereavement. Scholarly and research based, this book makes a very important contribution in the bereavement field.
What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies?
DVD by Trevor Romain.
Based on Romain’s popular book of the same name, this DVD is For children and family dealing with death. It uses gentle humour, lively graphics and a compassionate storyline to give helpful advice to kids around managing grief. 80 minutes running time, including special features.
You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After The Loss Of A Parent
by Lynne Hughes
Hughes is the founder of Comfort Zone Camp for grieving kids. She asserts that teens sharing experiences about losing a parent begins the healing process. The author's story, of losing both of her parents by the age of 12 and living with an unloving stepmother, launches off the book and then 14 following chapters tackle the grief process of grieving and dealing with life without a parent. Lots of teen quotes are used interspersed throughout the book, giving insight into a variety of ways young people have dealt with loss. There are good suggestions of how to find support and help form adults. A helpful book – from the USA.
Life after Baby Loss – a guide to pregnancy and infant loss and subsequent pregnancy in New Zealand
By Nicola Miller- Clendon
An essential resource for those who have experienced the loss of a baby. It includes extensive contacts in NZ, as well as many suggestions and empathetic support. It provides the certain promise also that there will be life after baby loss.
The Art Of Healing Childhood Grief: A School-based Expressive Arts Program Promoting Social And Emotional Literacy
by Anne Black and Penelope Simpson
For those working alongside hurting, grieving children in any context, this large handbook offers a comprehensive and creative reference guide and has been written by two very experienced educators. (USA) It is a treasury of different kinds of creative approaches that are designed to help open up the hearts and minds of grieving children so they can feel and express their thoughts and feelings – and start to heal.
Healing The Bereaved Child
by Alan Wolfelt
This comprehensive guide is written by widely respected grief specialist, Alan Wolfelt (USA), who is known for his practical and down to earth understanding of grief in our live. It is designed to assist those helping grieving children and offers a holistic view of grief as a normal, natural process. It explores the ways in which bereaved children can not only heal but also grow through their grief, and provides the six needs of mourning and counselling fundamentals and techniques for caregivers. Also included are explorations of how a grieving child thinks, feels, and mourns; what makes each child’s grief unique; and ideas to help grieving adolescents.
LOSSES TEENS FACE
Books for teens, and for those wanting to support them
The Journey Through - youth handbook for facing tough times of change, loss and grief
skylight 2003
Written for NZ young people, this youth friendly book tackles issues teens face around change, loss and grief with honesty and frankness. It helps readers understand, process and manage their grief experience as positively as possible - whatever the cause of the loss and grief has been. It also features many stories and quotes from young people themselves. Designed colourfully, it's able to be snacked on and gone back to again and again. This book is excellent for young people, parents and anyone experiencing grief or working with adolescents.
The Grief book - strategies for young people
Elizabeth Vercoe with Kerry Abramowski, Black dog Books, 2004
The author offers a bag of strategies for dealing with grief. From simple things to recognising that you are grieving, to more momentous things like attending a funeral, the book is full of practical, honest suggestions for moving through grief. It is aimed specifically at young people, but will speak to those of any age experiencing any kind of grief – adjusting to illness, coping with the death of a loved one, dealing with a divorce, the list is endless. The text is accessible and realistic, coming from people who know about grief: Vercoe is a survivor of Hodgkin’s Disease and Abramowski has worked with young cancer patients. This experience generates an understanding and gentle tone.
A Grip on Grief
Elsa McInnes, Castle Publishing, 2001
12 true life stories of NZ and Australian teens who've had various experiences of loss and grief. Written for young people, and from a christian perspective, this book features honesty, helpful information and reassurance. Lots of great quotes and a useful resource list also.
Working with Challenging Youth - lessons learned along the way
Brent Richardson, Taylor and Francis, 2001
“Challenging Youth” have lives featuring traumatic change, loss and grief of the most demanding kind. How can we reach them to support them? Written for professionals or volunteer youth workers, this book stresses the importance of self-awareness, genuineness, and empathy in effectively supporting challenging youth. It is a practical, reader-friendly guide through the pitfalls and problems that arise when working with challenging populations. Building on a solid theoretical base, the book identifies specific considerations and strategies for counsellors and youth workers. The author identifies six principles of effective youth counsellors and frames each chapter around a specific principle. In addition, it offers 47 lessons for working with at-risk youth and uses vignettes and studies to illustrate the principles under discussion.
More Than Just the Blues - understanding serious teenage problems
Dr Joseph Rey, Simon and Shuster. Australia, 1991.
In this highly valued book, Dr Rey (Australian Adolescent Mental Health Specialist) describes many of the issues that can cause change and loss and grief in young people’s lives, including depression and mood issues, eating disorders, fears, personality challenges, disruptive behaviours, suicidal behaviours and school problems. He outlines approaches to support teens through these and writes for parents who are worrying what to do next - or who can’t understand what’s going on for their teen.
The Struggle to Be Strong - true stories by teens about overcoming tough times
Edited by Desetta and Wolin. Youth Communication and Project Resilience, 2001, Free Spirit.
Each chapter of this book is written by a teen who has struggled with the very real problems teens face, including pressure to use drugs, racial prejudice and sexual (including homosexual) feelings. The editors have allowed the grittiness of adolescent life to come through. This book provides effective models teen readers can apply in dealing with their own lives, and assist adults in better understanding youth issues and effective interventions
Longing for Daddy - healing from the pain of an absent or emotionally distant father
Monique Robinson, Waterbrook, 2004
This book is written from a specifically Christian perspective. Robinson, whose father saw her once as a newborn and then never returned, writes about the pain and loss of growing up fatherless. She tells her female readers that whether they never had a father or had a horrible one, they can recover from the trauma by understanding and accepting the perfect, protective love of God. She describes the pain of a father's physical absence--reflecting her own experience- and broadens the book's appeal to include those women whose fathers were emotionally absent through overwork or non-communication. Each chapter ends with questions for reflection.
DYING - A NEW ZEALAND GUIDE FOR THE JOURNEY
by Sue Wood and Peter Fox, with Karen McMillan. Published by Calico Publishing Ltd.
Dying - A New Zealand Guide For The Journey is an effective New Zealand adaption of a book originally written by the authors for South African readers. “This book is about the realities of the terminal phase of illness”, states its preface, and it aims to guide and support anyone who is dying with practical information for their difficult journey.
Topics include what may be expected in the last stage of life, things others have found helpful or important to do, ways to manage practicalities and to respond positively, and ideas for meeting the arising physical, emotional and spiritual needs. This information has been drawn from the authors’ many years as counsellors working in the palliative field, and includes suggestions for family, friends and professionals as they also journey alongside the person who is terminally ill.
WhileDying - a New Zealand Guide for the Journey tackles a sensitive subject, it is very readable. It has been written in a very clear, direct style with respect, compassion and understanding. All sections are clearly marked and boxed extra information, quotations and references throughout add interest. It will work well as a ‘snackable’ handbook people can dip into as they wish. In adapting the book Karen McMillan, a writer and a volunteer at North Shore Hospice, has also included an excellent range of current New Zealand contact details for relevant support and information agencies.
skylight is delighted to point people towards this new book. It makes a significant contribution to New Zealanders facing death and dying, and to those caring for them. It respects and affirms their dignity, comfort and need for honest and practical information. It is available from bookshops or can be ordered directly from Calico Publishing Ltd, P O Box 29 039, Greenwoods Corner, Auckland 1023. Ph: 09 624 5674; Fax: 09 624 5672; Email: customerservice@calico.net.nz
Reviewed by Tricia Irving
skylight
rs@skylight-trust.org.nz
When a parent dies
Motherless Daughters - the legacy of loss
by Hope Edelman, Delta, 1995 Australia
Edelman shares her own painful story and the stories of many other women who, as children or adults, lost their mothers. She explains the experience of grief and adjustment. She considers the secondary effects that can occur: the girl-child filling the lost mother's role at home for father and younger siblings. An adult text.
How it Feels When a Parent Dies
by Jill Krementz, Alfred A. Knopf, 1993. USA
This has been written for older children and teens. 18 young people from age 7 - 17, speak openly of their experiences and feelings. As they speak we see them in photos with their surviving parent and with other family members, in the midst of their everyday lives.
When a grandparent dies
Passing On
by Mike Dumbleton and Terry Denton, Red Fox, 2002 - Australia
This is a colourful children's picture book, full of nature and sea images most New Zealand children would identify with. A grandmother and her young grandchild treasure the time they have together. The wonderful hours spent gardening, fishing and paddling in the sea will always be remembered. An uplifting story about a relationship that never dies. A great focus on the gift of memories and the ability to keep a relationship bond, even after death. (4 - 8)
Old Pig
by Margaret Wild, Dial Books for Young Readers 1996 Australia
Old Pig and Granddaughter share everything, including the chores, until the day when Old Pig says "I have a lot to do. I must be prepared." Granddaughter knows that her loved Old Pig will soon be gone- but her love and memories will still be there. This tender, beautifully illustrated picture book story is about love and loss. It will comfort children dealing with death for the first time. In a few short pages, shows that death can be a celebration of life and that person's contributions to it. (4-8)
Grandma's Bill
by Waddell & Johnson, Orchard Books 1991 UK
Young Bill and his grandma engage in comfortable conversation as they look through her photographs, tracing the family from the time Grandfather Bill was a baby to the present. The sepia-tone snapshots regularly evolve into full-color spreads, giving a sense of immediacy to the past. A cozy and nostalgic tribute to the power of family ties. (4 - 8)
When a child dies
The Kite and Caitlin
by Roger McGough, Red Fox 1996 UK
In this children's picture book Caitlin loves her kite. She is very ill and she doesn't get better. One evening she and her kite soar together through the skylight, over lakes and mountains, until they reach a place that's free of pain and suffering, a place she calls her new home. (4-9)
On the Wings of a Butterfly - a story about life and death
by Marilyn Maple, Parenting Press, 1992 USA
This picture book is a gentle and affirming story about Lisa, a young child with cancer. Trying to make sense of her life and death, Lisa befriends Sonya, a caterpillar preparing to change into a butterfly. A story that provides opportunities to talk about the nature of life and death. (6 - 12)
A Birthday present for Daniel - a child' story of loss
by Juliet Rothman, Prometheus Books, 1996. USA
A little girl's brother has died. She tried to understand her feelings and those of her family. Then she finds a way to celebrate her brother Daniel's birthday, even though he's died. (4-8)
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