Exerps from Daryl Gregory’s keynote address at the One Day Conference, October 16th 2006.
Daryl is the founder and current Managing Director of He Waka Tapu in Christchurch. Over the last 20 years Daryl has worked with whanau specializing in family violence with a focus on Maori men. He has been a cultural advisor to a number of projects including Kia Marama at Rolleston prison, a suicide monitoring Project and research projects with the Criminology Dept Victoria University. Over the years he has developed his own style of working by using stories and Maori beliefs. Many of the Maori men he has engages with use different forms of abuse to cover the feelings of grief, loss sadness and loneliness to name a few.
He Waka Tapu
Me mahi tahi tatou mo te oranga o te whanau
Working with Violent offenders:
The image of Waka is something that figures strongly in our organisation. Whanau are engaged to come on a journey of exploration, to discover new pathways and to reach for horizons that had only been a far-off dream. The wero, or challenge, laid before men and their whanau, is to consider what their tupuna had to do in preparing to cross the vast ocean, Te Moana nui a Kiwa, and reach Aotearoa safely, equipped to begin a new life.
‘He Waka Tapu’, literally translated, means ‘a sacred vessel’. He Waka Tapu invites men to consider that the waka that will carry them and their tamariki (children) into the future is the whanau (family). To ensue that they will reach that far-off horizon, to ensure that the dreams and visions of our tupuna (ancestors) for their mokopuna (grandchildren) are realised, men must ensure that the waka they build are seaworthy enough to face the challenges of Tangaroa and Tawhirimatea. If it isn’t, then perhaps they should not even be contemplating making that journey with their tamariki. If they are going to take that journey, it is suggested they must consider who is going with them and what skills they have to ensure success.
Do they know how to get there? What navigation instruments or knowledge do they possess?
This is an invitation to men and their whanau to consider what it means to begin the most important journey of their lives, establishing a whanau; and to consider what their tupuna must have gone through when they left the comfort of what they knew (their turangawaewae upon Papatuanuku). Abandoning themselves to the ever-changing currents of Tangaroa, exposed to the power of Tawhirimatea, as they sat embraced in the folds of Tanemahuta, trusting that Ranginui would provide the heavenly signs in the ara whetu needed to journey along a pathway where all is fluid, where no pathway exists.
This is the wero (challenge) that is laid down before men who come to our whare. If they are ready to pick it up, then the karanga (call) to come on board our waka can begin.
One way of engaging people into this korero is by the use of stories; Daryl Gregory and his wife Rose have developed a number of different stories to enable a space to be opened for a deeper conversation to happen. Over the years of working with perpetrators of violence we have realised that for many violence is a way of covering over the hidden grief that lies buried deep. For many men especially I have found that the lack of intimacy especially with their fathers and the ongoing effects of that becomes a deep rooted wound that they struggle to deal with. The strong belief structures that develop around been men hinders many from exploring these issues so they use strong emotions such as anger to continually cover up the pain.
Stories are a good way of starting the process, or journey of healing.
